Fiction

Fiction L
A Fake Internet Presence,
since 1994

 Home
 TidBits
 BLong
   Source
     GBuffy
     Mutt
     ClearSilver
     Python
     PyApache
   PalmOS Tools  

If politicians were really honest...
2004-04-18

... then the Onion just scooped their campaign strategy:
"The Medicare drug bill is a triumph of right-wing ideology masquerading as moderate reform. The pharmaceutical-drug and insurance industries are tickled pink. Guess who's paying for it? You. Congratulations, moron. I'm John Kerry and I approved this message."
and on the right...
Are you going to vote for a candidate whose campaign promises would cost America $1.9 trillion over the next decade? Of course you aren't. You aren't going to vote at all. In the last election, half of you didn't even show up. So, on Nov. 2, just spend the day right there at your dead-end office job, talking to your coworkers about your new sweater and e-mailing your friends photos of your stupid 2-year-old daughter you shouldn't have had. You make me sick."
Though, don't tell my Dad that "Owning A Boat Not Worth It":
YONKERS, NY.According to a study published in the April issue of Boating Magazine, owning a boat is not even close to worth it. "Our study proved conclusively that boat-ownership is primarily an inconvenience and a monetary black hole," editor Roger Bernbaum said. "We found little to no reason to keep that thing sitting in a shed all winter just so you can tow it to the lake and pay outrageous docking fees three weekends a year. It'd be much more cost-efficient to don a yachting cap and hang out at the dockhouse." The May issue of Boating promises to explore the financial viability of seaside vacation homes.


RSS Feed
Click for San Francisco, California Forecast

Personal
·About Brandon
·Twitter
·Instagram
·Resume
·Programming

Friends & Rants
·Clong Way From Home
·Wingedpig
·Unsolicited Dave
·Jason Lindquist
·Ben Gross
·Alan Braverman

Comics
·Sluggy Freelance
·XKCD
·Questionable Content
·Least I Could Do
·Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal


Copyright (C) 2020 Brandon Long. All Rights Reserved.
blong@fiction.net / Terms of Service

The "I work for a big public company" disclaimer:
The views expressed on these pages are mine alone and not those of my employer.
I am not now, nor have I ever been employed to speak for anyone.
Well, except my own company, but that's gone now.